Conversations With Richard

Found this reading list on one of the sites that I frequent. It’s probably not the final word on learning about being dominate but it’s a damn good start. For me, I read books and also hired a lifestyle Domme to teach me the philosophy of what it means to be dominate and well, there is so much more to being a dominate woman then holding a flogger over a guy and telling him, “Bad boy!”.

I won’t go into detail about my sexual top/bottom preferences. I’ll save it for later but I do hope that you appreciate this list of reading material! (Side note: Some of the websites listed below are geared towards dealing with female submissives and not male. That’s fine. I’ll start to create a list of more sites dealing with male submissive and list them here in due time! Emotionally, though, there are similarities with techniques and mindsets.)

Lifestyle Reference Books
Female Domination by Elise Sutton
The Art of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women by Claudia Varrin
The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance by Mistress Lorelei
The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners by Lady Green
At Her Feet: Powering Your Femdom Relationship by TammyKo Eckart
SM101 by Jay Wiseman
The New Topping Book by Dossie Eaton and Janet Hardy
The Compleat Spanker by Lady Green
Different Loving by Gloria Brame

Bondage Reference Books
The Toybag Guide to Basic Rope Bondage by Jay Wiseman
Erotic Bondage Handbook by Jay Wiseman
The Toybag Guide to Foot and Show Worship by Midori
The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage by Midori
Bondage for Sex by Chanta Rose
Two Knotty Boys Showing you the Ropes

Good Overall References
The Toybag Guide to Dungeon Emergencies by Jay Wiseman

Where to Hang out on the Interwebz
Fetlife.com

Interesting Sites
Houseofgord.com – Human furniture, outrageous bondages and outfits. Strictly female submissive
Kink.com – Video site with many forms of kink (M/M, F/F, M/F, F/M, TS, Toys)
Armbinders.Blogspot.Com – Images of women in armbinders (it’s very hard for a man to wear one due a man’s broad shoulders)
Spankingblog.com – Images/stories/commentary about spanking (M/F, F/F). Many good links.
Bondageblog.com – Images/stories/commentary about bondage (M/F, F/F). Many good links.

*** A final note. I sincerely believe that the best way to be a good dominate is to understand and try out being submissive, first. There are plenty of “Masters” out there that started out being a submissive. This might not make a lot of sense to people just reading this that don’t have this type of experience but I have found it to be very true.

When I was responding to a tweet this morning, I responded to a lady who wrote that she was turning 42 and was so much more happier and content than she was at 18.

I responded that as you get older, you get more comfortable in your skin but misspelled it while I tweeted it. (With tweets, you cannot make changes to your tweet!)

BUT there is something to my little slip. As one gets older, they get more comfortable with their sin in the sense of if people really VALUE their sexuality, then will grow and develop (get better with it!) as they get older. This is something that you don’t know when you think that you’re God’s gift to man or woman when you’re in your twisted twenties. Or thirsty thirties.

I’ve always believed that once a person reaches a certain age, that they wish to explore and do things that they have desired BEFORE they get too old to enjoy it. This is where I step in! Wicked grinning.

Most of my clients who wish to explore alternative sexuality are actually a little older. Not always in their 50’s but older. Certainly in their 40’s. A lot of 40′ish men have told me that they had a list, a bucket list if you will, of activities that they just wish to try.

And that list varies a lot. At any rate, if you haven’t already … it’s past time to get comfortable with your own sin … which is a relatively poor way of saying it’s time to get comfortable with who you are, your sexuality and follow up with feeling a satisfaction of the type of person that we are.

In that way, we can smile at the end of the day, right?

I tend to be very fond of men who are “well seasoned” and I have been asked what that term means to me. And I have put off for two weeks answering that question to a friend and so I have decided to answer the question in my blog.

Well seasoned. A well seasoned man is someone who has a good sense of self and is experienced with the world. I tend to think that a well seasoned man, much like a well seasoned ribeye steak, has imperfections at times but basically is a flavorful cut of meat.

Yes. I do sometimes think in terms of comparing men to a fine piece of meat. Sue me.

All in all, if I mention that you’re well seasoned, and I do not do that very often, please see it as a big compliment and that I find you particularly tasty. As an individual, not as a slice of beef.

Of course, if you would like to SHARE some steak with me while we discuss the advantages of being a well seasoned male, I’ll be up for the invite!

If I smile and give you a compliment of the sort above, please accept it in the manner that it was given. Sincerely. Being well seasoned is so much better than being an innocent.

Besides, a dear friend of mine used to always tell me that innocence was overrated. I believe her. I much prefer the company of someone who has texture.

Happy New Years!
Elisabeth

After several years of having just a few select pieces of lingerie, and mostly wearing an oversized man’s button down shirt for appointments, that has changed and none too soon!

I started searching on the hips and curves site for plus sized women and purchased a few items but then a friend suggestion EBAY. What? EBAY for larger lingerie? Oh my goodness, the things that I have bought!!!

Some don’t fit as well as others (and some fit perfectly!) but I have boy shorts with matching tops, vintage slips (full and half), bra and panty sets, camisoles, stockings, garter belts, new robes, vintage robes and so much more!

One of my very full figured friends suggested that I get some baby doll outfits. At first, I thought this was silly. A big girl in a see through red baby doll? The few that have seen it have LOVED it! What a hit. And here is a photo of my new baby powder blue one. Enjoy! And ask about my new lingerie! I’m still buying more!

I had started a topic on one of the boards that I frequent about mustaches. I deal with them a lot and quite frankly, I wonder why men like to have them.

For the most part, they can be attractive but I can often find them irritating.

I know that it’s often a vanity thing for men. Last night, I was watching the movie “Tombstone” for the umpteenth time and lord knows, that group wore MUSTACHES!!!

I can see the attractiveness being a factor. Sam Elliot is HOT HOT HOT in my book and he sports one. (Sam Elliot is HOT HOT HOT. I will keep saying that until I cannot say it anymore! Damn. He is HOT!)

Mustaches will often catch food and coffee. There are very few things more grotesque than kissing a man that has food stuck to his mustache. And sometimes, if they’re longer, a mustache will scratch the area around my lips and it hurts because that is a sensitive area for me.

Kissing is VERY important to me and I don’t like to say no. And I try NOT to say no to a man. But dangling coffee and water drips, etc., from a mustache can cause me to feel slightly faint and sometimes nauseous inside.

This is a rarity and lately, mustaches haven’t been bothering me as much.

Just curious what others thought. I’m surprised that men will admit that they know women might find them to not be the best things in the world but they still have one.

The thread is being answered by men who have a mustache and often are justifying why they maintain one even though it might not be well received by the female populace. There hasn’t been a comment yet by a woman claiming to adore them. If a female responds to the topic and let’s us know that she finds them very sexy, I’ll add those thoughts to this post!

I have been sincerely trying to get out and meet people who are not involved with sex work and obviously, that is going to cause some challenges during the “getting to know you” phase.

The main problem I’m running into is when people ask me what I do for a living. Finally, when a female looked me in the eyes yesterday and asked me what I do … I looked back at her and answered, “My work is complicated”. This seemed to satisfy her.

During discussions about this, I’ve always been impressed when women don’t bat an eye and just say that they’re involved with sex work. But I feel that often causes some really negative reactions. My work IS complicated but I’m still out there trying to figure out how to present myself in the best light as we all do when trying to forge new friendships.

It’s difficult!

Or rather, complicated!

… there are three people who are really having a good time. My female friend and two men.

I’m highly tempted to go up there and join them. I have been invited.

Instead, I’m writing this and thinking that I need to actually get some work done today instead of fooling around and being somewhat slutty.

What would you do? I’m still considering the possibilities!

I have written about this before, but I LIKE hair on a man and hair “down there”. Very much!

So for all of you men who feel that you have to apologize for all of that hair on your chest and back, please don’t with me! I’ll want to bury my face in it. And play.

And to that special man who had the longest BLOND hair on his chest that I have ever seen in my life … oh my. It was a silky treat and your hair was so long! So very unique and sexy.

Always …

… for a real woman to take my manhood.”

THIS is the text that I woke up to today.

How is a reasonable woman supposed to respond to this?

Is he asking for castration? Penetration? What?

I get wild texts and e-mails all of the time. This one just struck me as completely interesting with a little twist to it.

I sincerely do wish him luck!

When someone is asking me that they wish to commingle with another man in tow, well, it’s just not that easy to arrange and right now, I’m feeling rather muffed that I’m being asked to do this and the expectation is that this is just an easy thing to accomplish.

That was last week. But today is a different day and I would like to discuss how some fantasies are arranged.

I’m going to use this one client as an example. He’s an older man and I sincerely do like him. But he REALLY wants to see me when there is another guy there that they can exchange well … fellatio with each other. And although this is arguable, he’s really not gay and just barely bisexual. He just likes a little diversion sometimes. But it’s NOT just the male to male oral sex that he’s looking for. He also wants to see me enjoy intercourse with this man.

Do you KNOW how difficult it is to line up a man that not only will allow that type of activity but also has the ability to rut me into the ground and is over 55 or so? It can happen but my little black book isn’t that diversified, yet.

I don’t mind trying to set something up. But this is REALLY a hard thing to accomplish.

So with my example, he’s from out of town. Second, when setting up something like this, the other man has to be close to his age (or that is best) and close to his stature. This just works best. You don’t want to get two guys together who are complete opposites in age and decorum. It just doesn’t work out. I refer to this as being equally yolked.

THEN, it’s difficult to find a man who is a willing participant who can meet me at such and such time.

So not only do I need to find a willing partner who likes to have a little back and forth with another man in tow, I need to find someone who can meet when this client is in town and at the time when he can get together.

See how this is working out?

So … when a client asks me to set up a cuckhold situation, or another man in the room, or a man who wants to have his cock attended to … these certain parameters just don’t come knocking at MY door. I have to search for it!

And often, even the men who are interested in such a thing will say no for a variety of reasons.

The other week, a man offered to come over to just swive me silly while another listened. Then, he had to cancel at the last minute because of work. Then, the other one canceled because he didn’t wish to see just me. He wanted the “experience”.

So there you have it. Tra la la la la la. And a partridge in a pear tree. If you’re wanting to experience all twelve days of Christmas with me during a short one hour appointment, it would be nice to consider the work and effort that it takes to accomplish what you’re seeking. Offering a bit more of an incentive would be nice, too.

And acting disappointed that it’s almost an impossibility to actually create these settings at the last moment … well, I’m trying to illuminate your mind during the holiday season.

It takes a special person to even be able to orchestrate such an event. I’m that person. But often even I cannot create that holiday miracle that so many are seeking.

So this isn’t a complaint about trying to create such situations. It’s to let men know who are reading this that I do try. And will keep trying.

In conclusion, if you’re the type of man who wouldn’t mind being watched while having sex with me, or wouldn’t mind receiving oral attention from another man or would like to do it, wish to be paraded around a room with a leash on your cock or you wish to tap dance on a hot plate while singing “Yankee Doodle Dandy”, please keep me in mind and contact me.

I might just have a deal for you! But give me SOME time for the set up and don’t be overly disappointed if I cannot find the perfect orchestration for your fantasy. Besides, what’s in your head is rarely going to be what you imagined if it becomes reality.

My suggestion is to allow us to come up with a great fantasy together that creates some of the aspects of your fantasy and the some ideas of my own.