But let’s back up 18 months ago. That is when I discovered the city of Chicago. Gosh, I LOVE that town!!! And since that first visit in October of 2010, I’ve been back seven times but not since last October. Why? Well, I’m very busy there and actually have cultivated what I would consider some great clients and friends there.

What happens, though, when I’m there is I work a lot but I also continue to get calls from home. Then, when I get home after my trip, I’m exhausted and often, the difference in funds isn’t that great from the expenses and what I would have gleaned if I had just stayed home.

Plus, being on the road (sometimes) has a certain lack of quality of life. You’re stuck in hotel rooms. If you’re not making money, then you’re worried about leaving and missing an opportunity. And that lacks of quality in some fashion.

Here I am this afternoon. I have worked on the computer, visited with a friend and had an appointment. I’m writing this now after making some coffee with my french press and about to drink some accompanied with some tiramisu. I’m thinking of planting some flowers this afternoon and am wondering if Walt Whitman was truly gay. I need to read “Leaves of Grass” and thinking that I should go to the library or the second hand book store and find a copy to explore.

So life can be fat in this world. And right now, I’ve been eating right and trying to exercise and well, it’s showing results. I’m feeling better. If I was on the road, I don’t think that I would have the good feelings that I do right now.

So is travel worth it? I think so. But is it worth it for me right now? Jury is still out. If anyone reading this has a strong opinion one way or another, please let me know through an e-mail or just here! I really do wish to see the world and if working while doing so, that’s great. The gentle balance required, though, to travel AND see the sites are just not possible for me right now. Trying to figure that equation out!!!

And in the meantime, I’m just watching the flowers bloom!

Happy Spring!!! It’s just gorgeous in Dallas!!!

Which means, I need a reference FAST.

Although I know that giving references doesn’t make money for for me, it’s just important to me for so many obvious reasons.

So be really sweet and nice to those ladies that are quick to confirm references. And for those ladies who are getting reference checks, please be timely about it. It can make all of the difference in the world.

Is this the start of a great weekend or what???

Aren’t I just the sweetest thing?

However … I’m feeling a little sassy this morning and why not?

Here’s one:
“That reminds me of the time that I was fairly new and was laying in bed with this man at this gorgeous hotel. He was older and seemed so elegant and it was such a nice ambiance. He asked me if I could tell that he only had one testicle. I told him yes.

Then he said that the reason why he only had one was because of all of the CBT that he had endured and that he had a scalpel underneath the covers at the bottom of the bed and that I could start playing with him now.

And feel free to lop off the other one, too, he said. I was SO caught off guard that I just gasped. It was the WAY that he said it and the look in his eye.

I jumped up and started to faint. His laughter turned to something else and he grabbed me. I didn’t faint but it was horrible.

Now, I wouldn’t have had that reaction but then? After I actually LOOKED at his cock, it was all covered with scarring, etc. Just gross. There was more to that person and it was pretty sick.”

I’ve had men call who want me to feminize them or whatever. I DO think that some men call and just say whatever to keep you on the phone.

Things like this just don’t happen to me anymore because I’m either more experienced (well sometimes) or I can anticipate a man’s attitude a bit better.

But I’ve had some weird requests. Right now, I’m feeling slightly sick to my stomach remembering that guy above and just don’t wish to share anymore. I hope everyone is gearing up to having a great weekend!

And it’s probably not a good idea to keep asking what is my oddest request. I might just tell you!

BUT … I see those two gorgeous bodies with pert nipples and not a wrinkle at all and standing there happy and looking like something out of a classical portrait and well, I miss being that young.

Just sometimes!

There is a picture that I found that sortof reflects what I’m trying to say. In my heart, I feel much younger but it’s certainly a fact that I’m much older than 27 or 28! And I look it as well!

For whatever reason, people who like to read Charles Bukowski’s stuff also tends to appreciate the works of Palahnuik and when I was reading a site about Bukowski’s “Women”, I found out about Palahnuik even though he was already famous for the writing the book, “Fight Club”.

“The Contortionist’s Handbook” by Craig Clevenger was an absolute weird and well written book that tends to stick with you in the same fashion as a Palahnuik novel. And if you liked “Fight Club”, might I suggest “Choke”? Not for the masses but who wants that?

So here are a few of his more memorable quotes:

Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.

Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.

Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?

No matter how much you think you love somebody, you’ll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.

I just don’t want to die without a few scars.

A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.

My favorite quote of his is the one in my title line, though. To challenge ourselves and to move forward, it’s not going to always be in an easy or safe fashion. That singular line just makes me think. A lot.

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed more and more that getting my rate has become an issue. Last week, there were three times that, for one reason or another, I was basically shorted.

And I’ll go ahead and share each example with you. The first happened when I drove to downtown Dallas to a four star hotel and visited a man in a room with a gorgeous view of downtown Dallas. Very nice. When I was leaving, he asked me my rate. Alright. Crap. What is the FIRST thing that a man does after looking at pictures? Right. The rate.

He had my regular incall one hour rate. I had already paid almost $20 for valet and a tip. THIS is why we have outcall fees. Gas and time. So effectively, I drove over 55 minutes and actually made LESS than my regular incall rate to see a fellow. Just a complete lack of respect. Plus, I stayed over twenty minutes.

He promised to send me an amazon gift card to make up the difference but he didn’t. I know his real name and number but will I do something vile for a $50 shortage? No. It’s not in my nature.

Second time. Saw a guy and he thought that he would pay the rate that he paid when he saw me on a special two years ago. No. I mentioned it to him and to cause less embarrassment, I gently told him my rates and to remember them next time.

Third time. WONDERFUL man. I mean the chemistry is just awesome. He saw me the first time and I had posted a rare special on a website and well, I hadn’t changed it. Shame on me and no big deal. Saw him a second time. WONDERFUL man. He paid the same rate. I’ve written him a note.

With the third person, I don’t wish to lose a great client because of fifty bucks. And frankly, there are a lot of men that I just adore that if money was an issue, that I would try to work out something with them so that they could enjoy the company of a woman.

Yeah. I’m THAT fair.

But this is coming down to the idea of mutual respect. And it’s something that a friend of mine wrote about on her website. She has shared with me personally about mutual respect it’s a fine a philosophy that I feel that I need to demand for myself. Oh … her website address is http://www.ohcecilia.com She is an exceptional person and I feel honored for her to be a friend of mine.

Many, if not most, women in this business are “pleasers”. We wish to be kind and giving. But often, a man and especially a brazen one, will run over a woman and not think twice. I think that’s the reason why we see such harshness on some levels of this pay for play arena.

Well, I do not wish to expect that from my client base. When and if you wish to see me, I want you to feel that I’m worth the time and money to be seen. I put in a lot of effort to be the best that I can be with others. And I charge VERY little in relation to the type of service that I give.

I give freely of myself and my charms and that is why you wish to see me. Please leave me with a feeling that you’ve fully appreciated the time spent with me. Sadly … I’m going to start asking for my fee upfront. Period.

It’s time to get used to it. And also giving me a small token of your appreciate in seeing me, such as something from my wishlist or a book that you think that I would enjoy … is something that is more appreciated than you know.

I don’t ever state in an ad or anywhere that I’m a courtesan. The word has been so bastardized as to have really lost it’s meaning. But that is EXACTLY what I am. A courtesan of the highest degree. Generally, I will try to plan things out for my patrons and make times special. And at this point there isn’t much else to state.

Personally, it grieves me that I’m going to have to be slightly harsher with regard to funds being given. These are my thoughts on this beautiful spring evening!

And these are the simple reasons why: I can probably do anything more erotically charged than most … I can do it harder, softer, with more intensity and with more experience … and I can feel and anticipate what you need better than the vast majority that you would ever run into, either in this sphere or in others.

In other words, if you’re looking for someone to spend time with that has the mental and physical capacities to give you a feeling that you are really seeking, I have the ability to do that for you. Period.

And that’s a promise.

But he was shaking and nervous.

For those of us who have been around the block a few times this is very common with a new friend. Even after the kisses and the hugs that greeted him at the door, he just seemed to become more nervous. I asked him to take off his shoes and I helped him with his jacket.

He didn’t look like a virgin. Nor did he kisses indicate that he had little experience with kissing a woman. His lips were divine!

When he got down to his underwear, he didn’t wish to remove them. I was about to offer to remove them with my teeth when he slowly backed away from me. I’m thinking to myself that this is starting to worry me.

Then, I gently took my hands and slipped them underneath his boxer shorts. Tada. Wait. Hold on. What did I find?

A tight fitting pair of pretty lacy panties. I knew then what I had to do.

I grabbed his hair and whispered in his ear, “Do you want to be my girlfriend tonight? Or rather, my little slut?? I think that I know what you need”. His shaking stopped and the hard breathing began.

It would just be in ill form to tell you EVERYTHING, wouldn’t it? Grin. Suffice to say, there was more shaking and shivering but all in a good way. And when he was finished with me playing with his pretty slit and doing nasty things to him all over his body, he slowly got up and shook himself off.

And the transformation began again. He started to get dressed and no longer was he my nasty slutty girlfriend who wanted his pretty little pussy played with. And his bottom expanded. No, while putting his clothes back on … his voice changed and became lower. I could suddenly see his distinctive graying hair again because for whatever reason, when he was my girl it seemed to just all disappear.

And as he walked out the door, he turned around and smiled and said thank you. And do you know what I said? I told him that I was going to write just a very brief little story about our time together so that everyone could know that there is a naughty little slut in Fort Worth who is just waiting for some other woman to completely … and thoroughly … take advantage of her pretty little body.

With her pretty little panties. And he walked out with those panties in his pocket. For next time.

BUT … sometimes, it just clicks and works.

It’s a rare blend of knowing a woman and her limitations that allows for the joy of wrestling at this time for me. During a recent encounter, a man who just seemed to “know” women mentioned wrestling and how he thought it was hot. He seemed gentle. And he also looked like he could wrestle a bear (or alligator. or both.) and win. Or at least manage to rip them in half.

So when I jumped on top of him, with my chubby legs just barely touching the mattress on each side of his hips .. he looked at me with surprise when I told him that I was going to pin him down and take him. He was laughing.

So was I! And it was almost like a dance because he was able to, without any effort, flip me over and take both of my hands in his large and strong ones and pull my arms over my head. It felt wonderful. Although this activity probably wasn’t as wild as it might sound, or perhaps it was , it was just great and FUN to be able to ROMP.

And simply play around with a level of trust knowing that I wasn’t going to get hurt in the process. And isn’t that what sexuality is meant to be? At least some of the time?

Just a joy. As a little side note, I kindof wanted him to win at wrestling. I managed to wiggle around a lot though, and at least made an effort to best him, which in the end only means that we both won.