Why I Declined An Appointment Today …
I know that a lot of men realize that often, a woman will just say no to seeing them. I’m no exception to that rule but I try to avoid saying no because it’s just not good business.
Today, I received a call from someone who sounded familiar. His name is Jay. I have been no called and no showed by a man named Jay before and so when I hear that name, I’m always wary.
So, he called wishing to see me in 30 minutes and he had seen me before. He knew me, obviously, but I did the unthinkable and asked him if he had stood me up previously.
He had the gall to tell me yes that he had. He had been called into work before and wasn’t able to call me to cancel. Wrong answer on a wrong day.
So I told him that I was tired of getting ready for a client only to have him no show and that I wouldn’t be seeing him today. He fussed and begged and when I was just about to give in, he started to ask if I had fishnet hosiery.
That. Was. It. By his own admission, he has stood me up at least once. And now, he wishes to make demands on my time.
A friend of mine has always said that mutual respect was a turn on. This was a turn off.
I told him that I would be unable to see him and if he really wished to see me again, that he could send me a nice e-mail and an apology. He kept “but …Elisabeth … but… but I’m sorry and well, today I’m serious a… please listen … and I want …”
My final statement was that I wouldn’t see him today and I hung up on him because he wouldn’t stop talking.
Does this sound mean? I’m probably just letting off a little steam writing this because this just happened. And also, there is just a slight bit more to the conversation but it’s not mean.
What is RUDE is for a young man to call a woman and ask to see her in a short time frame and not have the understanding to be completely polite and kind about it after standing her up for an appointment previously. I do not keep notes. But I do know when someone doesn’t show and my memory does tend to store that information.
And as a result, please note that if your name is really Jay and you call me for an appointment, before writing me an e-mail first, I’m probably not going to see you. For the past several months, I’ve had a run of men named “Jay” who tend to play games and act foolish.
Right now, the name “Jay” is completely on my do – not – see list and that is rather remarkable since until this morning, I never had one.
Urgh!
December 5th, 2011 at 5:59 am
Elisabeth,
You did the right thing. There is no excuse for rudeness, ever. A man should never stand up a lady especially after he has made an appointment to see her and he knows that she will have gone to some trouble for him. Ignorance of proper behaviour and bad manners cannot be tolerated. The Jays of this world will have to settle for other options, but stay away from ladies who have class.
December 18th, 2011 at 2:40 pm
I keep tabs with my phone, if someone stands me up I note it on their phone number. Inevitably, they always seem to call back thinking I must have forgotten. I have surprised several men with the mental and phone number notes I keep tabs on them with. I had a call like that and when he didn’t show up i texted him and explained that he would not be welcome to contact me again. He phoned immediately to apologise, so he was a rarity. He phoned me again, months later and I was politely refusing him. He begged me and since i wasn’t busy i told him he could have an appointment since he was so open to me with screening info and tolerated my berating him. He showed up and we had a great time and boy was he impressed with my memory!
The other night, a client came to see me telling me it was his birthday. He drove a long way to see me and when he arrived I found out he did not have my full fee available. He asked me if I took a credit card, I said no. He was a nice, younger guy and I felt terrible for turning down his request to please make an exception for him. I politely turned him away and immediately felt badly about it. There have been so many times where I have tried to work with people and make exceptions only to regret it so. Unfortunately as a provider people mistake me for not taking myself seriously as a small business owner and conducting myself as such.
The old, naive me would have gladly made the exception but too many so called “friends” have made me wiser and less willing to trust anything good coming out of my polite gesture.
December 27th, 2011 at 8:02 pm
Tony,
I have probably scared away potential patrons by my post but I get very tired of dealing with men that seem to not have a clue. Although it’s probably not good for my bottom line, I do say no a lot and although I might regret it, I haven’t yet.
Sometimes, it’s just good for the soul to decline an appointment even if the money would have been nice. I did it again tonight.
It’s never good for anyone to have poor experiences with a client and I feel that if I had gone through with this guy, IF he even showed up, that the appointment wouldn’t have gone that well.
So I just went with my gut feelings. Could have been wrong but I’m not too worried about it. Still have that issue with men who have referred to themselves as Jay.
Hugs,
Elisabeth